


Redbirds

by maggs689



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gay Disasters, M/M, Plot but SO Much Porn, Stupid Boys, minor league baseball au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-27 07:09:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21114773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggs689/pseuds/maggs689
Summary: Adam Lowry, right fielder for the St. Louis Cardinals, gets sent down to the triple-A Memphis Redbirds after an incident.Brandon Tanev catches his eye from the stands of a game.But Adam is only in Memphis for a short time. Certainly nothing can happen, can it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was in Memphis this summer and went to a Redbirds game on a whim - and the idea for this happened! 
> 
> Content warning for recreational drug use and some rough-ish consensual sex stuff.

“Lowsy? Adam? Are you in there?” 

Adam leaned against the bathroom door, his forehead against the cool wood. “Scheifs-”

“C’mon man, we gotta go,” Mark said, rapping loudly on the door. “First pitch is in five.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Adam sighed.

“Blake’s going to fine you if you spend any more time sulking in there,” Mark said.

Adam kicked the bathroom door and then flung it open. “I’m not sulking!” he shouted as he pushed past Mark to his locker. 

“I know you’re ticked off about being sent down to slum it in triple A, but don’t take it out on the rest of us,” Mark said, his hands on his hips.

“I’m not _ ticked off_, I’m just not supposed to be here.” Adam gathered up his hat and his glove from his locker and walked through the tunnel to the dugout. He paused on the dugout steps and turned to face Mark. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back up with the Cards by the All Star Break and you can go back to watching me on tv.” Adam gave Mark a shit-eating grin and then turned to run out to right field.

***

“Bran, do you want a beer?” Chris nudged Brandon on the shoulder. 

“Yeah, a big one,” Brandon replied and headed for the picnic tables in the right field stands. On the field below him, the Memphis Redbirds were just taking the field. Brandon claimed a picnic table and fiddled with his phone while he waited for his brother to get back with the beers and the game to start.

“Here you go,” Chris said, handing him a 32 ounce beer. “Take your time with it, will ya?”

Brandon frowned at Chris. “Sure, _ mom_.”

Chris sat down at the table next to him and gave him a serious look. “How are things with you? Last time I saw you was that party you had for Steven’s birthday and things were…” Chris trailed off into a grimace.

“Fine,” Brandon supplied, taking a sip of his beer. 

“You were both wasted and screaming at each other,” Chris said.

“We’re fine. Steven’s fine.” Brandon turned to look out over the field, where the pitcher was just taking the mound. “Who’s pitching tonight?”

“Wheeler,” Chris said. “Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not. I’m watching the game,” Brandon said stubbornly. “Who’s this in right?” He jutted his chin out toward where a tall man was stretching in right field.

“Oh, that’s Lowry. He was just sent down by the Cards because he’s been in a slump. Rumor’s that he punched out the manager.”

“Interesting,” Brandon said and took another drink. “He’s tall.”

Chris consulted his phone. “Six-five.” 

“_Interesting,_” Brandon turned to him and winked. 

“You’re ridiculous. What about Steven?” 

“What about him?”

“Are you guys still together? What about that guy at the party I saw you-” Chris waved his hand in Brandon’s direction.

“Steven and I are still a thing. And you know we’re not monogamous.” Brandon turned back to the field and muttered _ straight people _ under his breath.

“Maybe he's just not right for you,” Chris said quietly in response.

Brandon put his head in his hands. “Get off my back. Things are fine the way they are. Let’s watch the game.” 

They settled into the rhythm of the game, Wheeler pitching well through six innings and holding the Salt Lake Bees to two hits and no runs. After the seventh inning stretch, the relief pitcher came in for the Redbirds, a tall witchy looking guy with a sharp nose and dark hair. 

“This guy - Helle-something - he’s good,” Chris said, leaning forward over the railing. 

Brandon was a little buzzed from his third beer so he leaned over the railing too, his earlier spat with Chris forgotten. “Is everyone on this team seven feet tall?” he asked loudly and he saw the right fielder chuckle. “I’m talking about you too, beanpole,” Brandon called out with a smile.

Adam turned to him and stared with a curious expression on his face. Adam shook his head and turned his attention back to the batter but Brandon could see that he was smiling. 

“Don’t heckle him,” Chris hissed.

“Relax,” Brandon said. 

A few minutes later, there was the crack of the bat and Brandon spotted a ball sailing into right field. Adam caught the fly ball for the third out of the inning and jogged over toward Brandon and Chris.

“Here, shorty,” Adam called and tossed the ball over the wall to Brandon.

Brandon caught the ball. “I’m six foot!” he yelled back.

“Sure you are, champ,” Adam smiled and then ran back to the dugout.

A few innings later, when the Redbirds were one out away from winning, Brandon leaned over and snagged the pen that Chris was using to keep score in his program.

“Hey,” Chris said weakly. 

“Relax,” Brandon said. He took the pen and started writing on the ball.

“What the fuck-”

“Hey, Lowry,” Brandon called out to the right fielder after the final batter fanned for a strike and Helleybuck pumped his fist in celebration of the save. “Catch.” He tossed the ball over the wall to Adam, who caught it and looked up at him with confusion on his face.

“Bran, what the fuck?” Chris was standing next to him. They both watched Adam turn the ball over in his glove. Suddenly, Adam looked up at Brandon with a huge smile on his face.

Brandon made a telephone gesture with his hand and turned to walk up the steps to the stadium concourse. Chris trailed after him, sputtering. “Did you give him your _ phone number?_ On a _ baseball?_”

Brandon laughed, his head back as he strutted through the crowd toward the exit. “Gotta shoot your shot!”

***

Adam tossed the ball with the phone number on it into his bag and zipped it up, ducking his head to get out of the locker room as fast as possible and without having to sit through another excruciating lecture on personal responsibility and teamwork from Blake Wheeler. As the captain, Blake had taken it upon himself to welcome Adam to the team but Adam couldn’t take any more fake camaraderie with these guys who he didn’t want to play with. 

He drove the short distance through downtown Memphis, grumbling to himself about the tourist traffic, even on a Wednesday night. He crossed the bridge into Harbor Town and onto Island Drive before steering his car down a small street and parking in the driveway behind the house.

The team’s house - not his - was dark and empty, his footsteps echoing off the walls. He went upstairs to the bedroom and flopped down on the bed with his bag. He pulled out the baseball the guy had thrown at him and stared at it. The guy, Brandon had written his name and his phone number inside a heart on the ball. Adam remembered Brandon’s mischievous eyes and his smile as he looked down at him over the right field wall at the end of the game. 

_Might as well_, Adam thought. He got his phone out and drafted a long introductory text. He stared at the screen and deleted the text, deciding to send a simple **_hey_** instead.

**_who is this?_** came back a few minutes later.

Adam sighed in frustration. **_adam lowry, from the game_ **

** _hey there :)_ **

Adam smiled, a flutter of nervousness in his chest. ** _hi. never had a fan throw a ball with their number to me before_ **

** _a fan? i don’t know about that_**, Brandon texted back, and then a moment later he sent a winking face emoji and texted, ** _but i wanted you to text me so i guess it worked_ **

Adam's hands were sweating a little. **_do you want to hang out on saturday? i have a game but can meet you after_**, Adam sent back. He wasn’t sure if he was reading the situation correctly, but he assumed from Brandon’s flirty manner and the ball with the phone number that Brandon was into guys too. He didn’t usually arrange to meet up with strangers but Brandon was cute and Adam figured that he deserved to have fun while he was serving out his punishment in Memphis.

** _ok 10ish at alchemy on cooper? _ **

** _sounds good,_** Adam texted back, chewing on his lip, uncertain how to end this conversation. As he was considering, his phone chimed with one more text from Brandon and it made Adam blush: **_looking forward to seeing you out of your uniform_**.

***

Brandon arranged to leave work early on Saturday night by begging his coworker Geno to cover for him. He would owe Geno a favor at some point later but Brandon hoped it’d be worth it.

He set himself up at a corner chair at the bar at Alchemy at 9:45 and ordered a Manhattan. He was chatting with the bartender about twenty minutes later when he felt a hand on his back. 

Brandon turned to see Adam towering over him, his shoulders looking good in a soft gray v-neck t-shirt. “Hi,” Brandon exhaled with a smile.

“What are you drinking,” Adam said as he slid onto the next chair.

“A Manhattan,” Brandon said.

“I’ll have the same,” Adam said to the bartender, who looked at Brandon with a raised eyebrow and then moved away. “Do you know that guy?”

Brandon shrugged said, taking a sip of his drink. "I know a lot of people."

“Is that so? What do you do?"

“I'm a bartender at Handy’s on Beale? Have you been there?”

“I don’t know it.” Adam took his drink from the bartender with a thank you. “I just got here last week so I haven’t had a chance to go out.”

“Well, I can show you around a little if you want,” Brandon said, sliding his arm across the back of Adam’s chair.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be in town. Not to sound cocky but,” Adam grimaced but Brandon could tell he was being faux humble, “I’m really a big leaguer.”

“Sure,” Brandon nodded, letting his fingers lightly touch Adam’s back. “And they usually send the best players to triple A in Memphis.”

Adam laughed. “Do you follow the Cards?” When Brandon shook his head, Adam continued. “I was in a hitting slump and I was pretty frustrated and _ maybe _ I took it out on the manager when he tried to talk to me about it.”

“I heard you punched him,” Brandon eyed him over the rim of his glass. He signaled to the bartender for another round.

“Maybe,” Adam shrugged. He reached out to put his hand on Brandon's knee and slid it up his thigh, stopping a few inches from the top.

Brandon turned back to look at Adam, leaning in closer. There was a charge between them that made Brandon hot all over. They had just met but Brandon wanted to bring Adam home with him and let Adam wreck him. Brandon licked his lips and watched Adam’s gaze fall to his lips. “So, where are you from?” Brandon asked. 

“Uhh, Tulsa,” Adam said, clearly flustered by the way Brandon was looking at him. “I went to Oklahoma for baseball and then moved to St. Louis after. Are you from here?”

“Born and raised,” Brandon said. Adam made a face. “What? Oh, I forgot. You hate it here.”

“I’m sure Memphis is fine,” Adam said. "I'm just not supposed to be here."

“Where are you living?”

“Harbor Town.”

Now it was Brandon’s turn to make a face. “There’s your problem. You’re living in boring pre-fab Memphis. You have to see the real Memphis.”

Adam finished his drink and gestured to the bar around them. “Like this hipster cocktail bar? Is this the real Memphis?”

“This neighborhood is a start. Bet you didn’t know that Johnny Cash recorded his first record in a church a block from here. And there’s good live music, not the touristy stuff you see on Beale.”

Adam held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “If you say so.”

“I do,” Brandon said. “Too bad you won’t be around long enough to see any of it.” He licked his lips again and watched Adam’s eyes go dark. He slid his hand up Adam's back and tangled his fingers in the hair above Adam's neck.

“I’m not leaving tonight."

"Well, what do you want to see tonight?" Brandon asked with a raised eyebrow, hoping the answer was _you on your knees._

"Do you live around here?”

“About a block that way,” Brandon indicated with his head. Adam’s hand was back on his leg, his fingers digging into the meat of his thigh. “Do you want to get out of here?"

Adam was already signalling to the bartender for the check. The bartender made a shooing gesture at them from across the bar so Brandon hopped off of his stool and took Adam’s hand. Adam threw a twenty on the bar and let Brandon lead him out the door.

***

Adam let Brandon hold his hand during the short walk to his place, a small one-story house with a big front porch. They went inside and Adam took in the mountain bike hanging on the wall and the sneakers and hockey sticks by the front door. Brandon was obviously physically active. From the muscles Adam could see under his tight t-shirt, he was in pretty good shape.

“C’mon,” Brandon said, leading Adam to his bedroom. The lights were off and Adam waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Before he knew it, Brandon was kissing him, craning up toward him on his tip-toes to intertwine his fingers behind Adam’s neck.

“Six foot, my ass,” Adam said into Brandon’s lips and felt Brandon laugh against him. 

“If you’re so big, what are you gonna do about it,” Brandon said, pulling his shirt over his head. 

“You wanna see what I’m gonna do about it,” Adam said, pushing Brandon down onto the bed and leaning over him, his lips barely an inch away from Brandon’s. “Is that what you like?” 

“Yes,” Brandon breathed out. Adam sat up to take his shirt off and leaned back down to find Brandon’s lips. Brandon arched up into him, his hands in Adam's hair and his cock in his pants pressed hard against Adam. Adam broke the kiss so he could undo Brandon’s belt and pants, pulling on the legs of his jeans to get them off and laughing as Brandon was pulled halfway across the bed in the process. “Stupid pants,” Brandon giggled as he stripped them off. He sat up on his knees to reach for Adam’s belt.

Adam caught his hands and held them together in one hand, taking a moment to look down at Brandon. “Wait,” he said, trailing his hand down Brandon’s chest and his hard abs. When he stopped his hand above Brandon's cock, Brandon whined in protest. “Do you have lube?”

“Yeah,” Brandon said. He reached beside the bed and came back with the bottle. 

“Get on your back,” Adam ordered. When Brandon scrambled to get onto his back and spread his legs eagerly, Adam realized that the instant spark between them was because Brandon wanted it the same way Adam did - with Adam in charge, Brandon squirming underneath him, desperate for contact. Adam held Brandon down by his hip, digging his fingernails in until Brandon hissed. "Be good,” Adam cautioned as he slicked up his fingers and slipped one finger and then another inside. Adam stole a glance up at Brandon, whose wide eyes were locked on Adam, disbelief and a burning longing on his face. 

“Fuck,” Brandon moaned. His whole body writhed, his abs flexing as he tried to move against Adam’s hold, thrusting his hips down onto Adam's fingers. 

"God, you’re so needy for it,” Adam said. He leaned down to bite at the inside of Brandon’s thigh, drawing a high moan out of Brandon at the pressure of his teeth sharp on the sensitive skin. He turned and bit the inside of the other thigh, pushing in harder as Brandon cried out and pulsed around his fingers. Adam kept watching Brandon's face as he barreled toward his orgasm. Brandon was panting, faster and higher with every thrust of Adam's fingers, until Adam wrapped his hand around Brandon's cock and Brandon curled in on himself. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Brandon cried, coming all over Adam's hand. He collapsed back on the bed, pulling Adam down on top of him. 

Adam kissed Brandon slowly, biting and sucking under his jaw. Once Brandon recovered enough to move, he sat up to undo Adam's pants and slide them off, pulling his underwear down with them. “Fuck, you’re so big,” Brandon breathed out when Adam's cock popped out of his boxers, hard and red. 

“Get on your knees for me,” Adam said, already maneuvering them so he was sitting on the side of the bed and Brandon was kneeling in front of him. Brandon looked up at Adam, his eyes big as he held his mouth open. “Yeah, that’s it,” Adam said. He held Brandon’s head in his hands and guided his mouth onto his cock. “You know what I want.”

Adam worked up a rhythm, moving Brandon’s head steadily to fuck his face. Adam felt Brandon relax his throat, moving his tongue as he took him in further each time. Brandon flicked his eyes up to meet Adam’s. 

“Fuck, baby,” Adam said, fucking Brandon’s face faster and then, when Brandon’s nose was touching his groin, holding him there for a long moment. The pressure of Brandon’s tongue, his throat contracting around Adam, made Adam break out into a sweat. “That’s it, baby,” Adam groaned and then Brandon gagged and pulled off, panting. 

Brandon looked up at him, his eyes wet and spit dripping down his chin. “I’m trying to take as much as I can.” Brandon’s big brown eyes were glassy and he looked so pretty, on his knees and trying to please Adam. 

Adam took Brandon’s head back in his hands. “You’re doing so good, baby, so good for me.” He ran his finger over Brandon's lips and then slid into his mouth. He started slow until Brandon was taking him all the way in again. He moved Brandon’s head faster to fuck his throat and then held Brandon’s face down for a few long moments. The feeling of Brandon’s wet mouth all around him was overwhelming. “That’s it, just a second more,” Adam coaxed him and then Brandon gagged and pulled off.

"Fuck,” Adam leaned forward to kiss him, Brandon’s head tilted up and his mouth open so Adam could flick his tongue in Brandon’s mouth. “We can do something else if this is too much.”

Brandon shook his head “More,” Brandon whispered up at him, his voice wrecked and his lips puffy and slick with spit. 

He slid into Brandon’s mouth, pushing in, in, in, harder each time. He held Brandon down on his cock, waiting for Brandon to gag but only feeling his tongue moving against the underside of his cock as Brandon’s lips stayed pressed against the base. Adam held his breath and tried to calm the shaking in his legs as his orgasm started to build in his stomach. Brandon finally pulled off with a gasp and Adam shook his head and started stroking himself.

“You’re unbelievable, so good for me,” Adam said. He cupped Brandon’s face in one hand and looked down at him. Brandon smiled at him through the tears in his eyes and held on to Adam’s thighs as Adam started to shake. “Wanna come on you.”

Brandon nodded, biting his lip, not breaking eye contact with Adam until Adam came all over him.

***

The next day, Brandon was on his way to work when Adam texted him. ** _i had a good time last night_**.

** _me too :)_**, Brandon texted back. ** _we should do it again_**_. _

Adam responded right away. **_good bc_**** _ i can’t stop thinking about your mouth._ **

**_i can't stop thinking about you,_** Brandon texted, smiling to himself as he walked into the bar. 

“What are you smirking at?” Geno called out to him from behind the bar. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Brandon said to him as he went into the back room to clock in. 

**_i hope i wasn't too rough_**, Adam texted. 

**_you know i liked it_**, Brandon responded with a winky face. 

** _you were so fucking good._ **

Brandon had a brief flash of Adam’s face, his eyes locked on Brandon, right before he came. Brandon felt a warm flush spread through his body at the memory. ** _come over at midnight on tues and we can go again_**, Brandon texted and then put his phone down to get to work hooking up the new kegs. 

***

Brandon rushed home from work on Tuesday night and showered quickly before Adam showed up on his doorstep, looking freshly showered after his game. 

“Hi,” Adam said, giving Brandon a tight smile and reaching for him. 

Brandon let him in and walked to the kitchen. “Want a drink?”

Adam followed him closely, his hands on Brandon’s hips to steer him through the kitchen to the bedroom.

“I guess not,” Brandon laughed when reached the bed. “You have a good game tonight?”

“No, I did not,” Adam said. His eyes were dark and he pulled Brandon closer a little roughly, like he already knew Brandon liked. He kissed Brandon’s neck and slid his hands under Brandon’s shirt, making goosebumps break out on Brandon’s arms. Brandon sat on the bed in front of Adam and pulled his shirt off. Adam stood over him, his face in shadow, and pushed Brandon onto his back. He pulled Brandon’s shorts and underwear down in one movement and then climbed on top of him, his hands on either side of Brandon’s face as he leaned down to kiss him. “You look so fucking good,” Adam growled in Brandon’s mouth.

“Fuck,” Brandon gasped. He had been looking forward to seeing Adam and the anticipation had been building all day. Suddenly he was here, naked underneath Adam, and he all he could do was kiss him back, desperate for Adam to touch him. Adam broke the kiss to flip him over and pull him back onto his knees to spread him open. Adam touched his hole with his fingers and then pressed against the rim. “Adam,” Brandon whined at the pressure, arching his back into it. Brandon wanted to be stretched open, to be fucked hard tonight. He had a feeling that was what Adam wanted too.

“Get the lube,” Adam said. Brandon reached over to the night table for the bottle and handed it to Adam, who had stripped down and was stroking his cock. “Get on your back,” Adam ordered.

“I like you like this,” Brandon said.

Adam poured lube on his fingers and climbed back onto the bed, pinning Brandon with one hand on his chest. “I know you do,” he said, sliding one finger into Brandon, taking his breath away. “You like being told what to do, don’t you,” he said, his voice low as he added two more fingers to force Brandon open. 

Brandon bit his lip and nodded, gasping as Adam worked his fingers inside him. His head was spinning a little at how easily Adam could read him, like no partner ever had been able to so quickly. 

“Do we have to talk about this?” Adam asked quietly, his eyes serious on Brandon’s face. 

“No, keep going,” Brandon said. “Just fuck me, please.” Brandon was ready, his face flushed hot and his hole aching so good around Adam’s fingers. 

Adam pulled his fingers out and pushed into him hard, pressing Brandon’s knees back onto his chest. He didn’t give Brandon any time to adjust to his size, just started moving, pulling Brandon up into his lap and fucking into him with determined strokes. 

“Adam, fuck,” Brandon squirmed against Adam’s grip tight on his hips. He reached to touch his own cock but Adam caught his hands and pinned them to the bed on either side of his head. As he held Brandon down, Adam slid even deeper into him. “Fuck,” Brandon gasped, “harder.” His legs were bent back and spread wide and he didn’t know where to focus - on the stretch of his hamstrings, the pressure of Adam holding him down, or Adam moving hard inside him.

“I’m gonna have to tie you down next time,” Adam said, his voice low and tight. “Is that how you like it?”

Brandon nodded frantically at Adam above him, so turned on by the way that Adam was using his body, holding him down and taking what he wanted. The stretch of Adam inside him was so much and then Adam shifted his angle, thrusting against Brandon’s prostate with every stroke. Brandon felt out of control all of a sudden, desperate to come and wanting more all at the same time. “Adam please, please, touch me, can I come please,” Brandon babbled off into incoherence when Adam fucked harder into him. Adam was so big, inside him, over him, and every nerve in Brandon’s body was alight. All he could see were Adam’s eyes burning down at him and all he could feel was everything, all at once, threatening to crest over him.

“Just a little longer, baby,” Adam gritted out. His chest was flushed and he was sweating with the effort of holding back. After a few more strokes, he took hold of Brandon’s cock and moved his hand quickly. The tight pressure was too much and Brandon spilled all over Adam’s hand and himself as he came and came. Adam held his hand up to Brandon’s mouth and Brandon opened his mouth, slowly licking his own come off of Adam’s fingers while he kept moving, in and in and in. “Fuck, you’re so,-” Adam said, his voice hoarse and broken, and then he broke off into a moan as he fucked in hard one last time and came.

***

After, Brandon laid his head on Adam’s chest. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah?” Adam asked, looking down at Brandon and smoothing his hand over his hair. 

“Yeah, couldn’t you tell? Do you feel better?”

“_So _much better.” 

They laid there, sweat cooling on their skin for a while, Brandon absently tracing small circles on Adam’s chest. “When did you start playing baseball?”

“As soon as I could walk. Once I could stand up long enough to take a pitch, I had a bat in my hand,” Adam laughed to himself. “Did you play sports as a kid?”

“Yeah, I played hockey for a few years and I ran track in high school.”

“Were you fast?” Adam ran his hand through Brandon’s hair and down the back of his neck, making Brandon shiver. 

“I was pretty good for a few years. At the end of junior year my, ummm,” Brandon stammered, “my parents died in a car accident so I stopped doing track after that.”

“Bran, I’m so sorry,” Adam reached out to hold Brandon’s hand where it had stilled on his chest.

“It’s fine.” Brandon started. “I mean, it’s not fine. I’m fine now, but then I was pretty fucked up. I spent senior year hanging out with the burnouts and doing a lot of drugs, partying all the time. Luckily I had Chris to take care of me.” Brandon nuzzled his face into Adam’s chest. 

“You guys are pretty close?”

“Yeah, he stayed in Memphis because of me. And I guess now we’re both here because of each other.” Brandon looked up at Adam. “What about you? Big family in Oklahoma?”

“Just my parents,” Adam said, stroking Brandon’s hair. “And they moved to Florida a few years ago because I’m there part of the year for Spring Training.” 

“Florida sounds nice,” Brandon said, closing his eyes. 

“You ever think of leaving Memphis?” Adam asked, his lips brushing Brandon’s forehead.

“Hmm,” Brandon hummed. “I don’t know. No reason to leave.” He was feeling sleepy, curled up warm against Adam in the dark. 

“I should probably get going,” Adam said. He sat up and then paused for a moment. When Brandon looked up, Adam’s expression was difficult to read. He finally said, “You know I could get called back up to the Cards any day now, right?”

Brandon rolled his eyes. This was probably Adam’s way of telling him not to get attached. They had hooked up twice and it had been amazing, but Brandon wasn't a stranger to casual hookups and he knew the score. “Yes, I know," he said, watching Adam swing his legs off the bed and feel around on the floor for his pants. "But while you're here?"

Adam turned to smile at him and leaned down to kiss him goodbye. "While I'm here." 


	2. Chapter 2

Adam left for a road trip with the Redbirds the next day. He spent most of the long bus ride to Oklahoma on edge, alternately annoyed by his teammates and wishing he had someone to talk to. He spent a lot of time staring out the window of the bus, replaying his nights with Brandon in his mind. His sexual frustration was at its peak by late Saturday night when Brandon finally texted him to ask if he was in town. 

**_no i’m in okc until tues,_** Adam texted back as he brushed his teeth in his hotel room. He hoped that Brandon wanted to set up a time to get together as soon as he got back. He had been jerking off so much to the memory of Brandon but he needed the real thing soon. 

** _i’m having a party next fri night at my place if you wanna come_ **

Adam frowned. **_i have a game that night but i can stop by after_**, he texted. He thought it over and added, **_you busy the rest of next week?_**, hoping it didn’t sound too desperate.

**_gotta work_**, Brandon replied. **_think you can wait until friday? ;)_**

Adam laughed to himself and texted, **_send me something to hold me over :)_**

After a few minutes, Brandon texted a picture of his cock hard in his boxer briefs. **_see you fri, big guy_**

***

Adam showed up at Brandon’s house near 11pm on Friday night and he could see that the party was already in full swing. There was a crowd of people in the house, spilling out the front door onto the porch where a band was playing. 

He weaved through the crowd and found Brandon in the entryway to the kitchen. He was wearing tight jeans and sleeveless t-shirt, his arms toned and tan. His face was flushed and he was laughing, talking animatedly to a tall blonde man who was leaning in close to him. Adam felt a hot stab of jealousy at the way Brandon was looking up at the man, but then Brandon spotted him and Adam relaxed. 

“Hey!” Brandon shouted. “You made it!” He came over and threw his arms around Adam. “I heard you had a home run tonight!”

“Yeah,” Adam smiled and hugged Brandon close, letting his hands come to rest on the top of his ass. “Felt really good.”

Brandon left his arm around Adam’s waist and stood pressed along his side. “This is Steven,” Brandon beckoned to the tall blond man. “Steven, you remember I told you about the baseball player I met?”

“Hi,” Steven held out his hand for Adam to shake. “I should have known you’d be tall. We all know what this one likes,” he said a little bitterly. 

Adam was taken aback by that, not sure where Steven’s comment was coming from. Adam watched as Brandon chatted easily with Steven while staying pressed against Adam and wondered what was going on, exactly. Brandon and Steven seemed close, but Brandon wasn’t shying away from being affectionate with Adam either. 

“You need a drink,” Brandon said, snapping Adam out of his reverie. “Chris!” Brandon called to a man passing by. “Can you show Adam where the drinks are out back?”

“Sure, follow me,” Chris said. “I don’t know if you remember me from the game? I’m Brandon’s brother.” He led Adam through the kitchen out the back door to where there were coolers of beer and a table of liquor bottles. 

“I thought you looked familiar. I’m Adam.” Adam busied himself with pouring a few fingers of whiskey into a red solo cup.

“So I guess the phone number on the baseball thing worked, huh?” Chris asked as he fished a beer out of one of the coolers.

“Yeah,” Adam said, blushing a little. “We’ve hung out a little since then.”

“That must be why Steven was giving you the eye.”

Adam drained his cup and paused for a moment at that. “What do you mean?”

“Those two,” Chris hooked his thumb toward the house, “they’re ‘non-monogamous’ or whatever but if you ask me?” Chris stopped talking abruptly. “Well, I shouldn’t say.”

“You can tell me,” Adam said, pouring himself another drink and gulping it down quickly. “It’d be good to know what I’m getting into in there.”

Chris sighed and stepped closer, dropping his voice. “They're open or whatever and Brandon’s always fucking other people, but Steven hates it. I honestly don’t know why Brandon keeps him around. They're always fighting and I for one am sick of hearing it.”

“Wow,” Adam said, pouring a shot of whiskey for Chris and handing the cup to him.

“Thanks,” Chris said, throwing it back. “I’m gonna go find my girlfriend. She’s around here somewhere.”

Adam stood in the backyard by himself for a few minutes before he felt a hand on his back. 

“Hey,” Brandon said, “what are you doing out here by yourself?” He looked a little drunk, his eyes glassy.

“You didn’t tell me you have a boyfriend,” Adam blurted out.

“I’m gonna kill Chris,” Brandon moaned, leaning his forehead against Adam’s chest. “It’s not a big deal.”

“No, I get that you guys are open and that’s fine, but is he okay with you having someone you’re hooking up with here?” Adam ran his hands up and down Brandon’s back, furious at how turned on he was just by having Brandon close to him like this. They were talking about something serious and all Adam could think about was how good Brandon smelled and if there was a place they could go to be alone.

“He’s fine,” Brandon said. “He knows we’re casual, right?” Brandon was looking up at him, his lips parted.

Adam leaned down to kiss him, his hands gripped tight on Brandon’s hips. “Totally,” he said in between kisses. “I might not even be here after next week.”

Brandon took him by the hand and led him back into the house and toward his bedroom. "That's gonna suck for you." He shut the door behind them. 

“I know, it’s been a week and a half since I saw you and I’m going crazy,” Adam said, picking Brandon up by the waist and tossing him back onto the bed. 

Brandon laughed, reaching up to take Adam’s shirt off and then his own. “I’m sure you have some hot piece in St. Louis to go back to.” He scooted down the bed to shimmy his pants off. 

“Hmm,” Adam hummed, not mentioning that there wasn't anyone he had found in St. Louis who excited him as much as Brandon did. He kissed down Brandon’s chest and took Brandon’s cock in his mouth. After licking up and down his length, he pulled off and started stroking Brandon slowly with his hand. “At least now I know you won’t be lonely when I go.” 

“Mmm,” Brandon moaned, his eyes squeezed shut, “he doesn’t fuck me like you though.”

Adam stopped moving his hand and Brandon’s eyes snapped open. 

“Don’t stop - I didn’t mean-” Brandon stammered.

Adam was frozen in place, shocked that Brandon mentioned Steven so casually. He was suddenly sober and aware that Steven was right outside while he was in the bedroom, about to fuck his boyfriend. "Bran, I can't-”

“Adam, wait, I just meant-”

Adam sat up and reached for his shirt. “I need to get out of here.” Adam's mind was racing. He didn't know what he had gotten himself into or why he felt a sickening thrill at the thought of being the one that Brandon wanted. Behind him, Brandon scrambled to pull on his pants and followed him out of the bedroom and through the kitchen. 

Adam was pushing through people to the front door when Brandon caught up to him. “Adam, where are you going?”

“I just,” Adam put his hands in his hair, overwhelmed and embarrassed that people were staring. He lowered his voice. “I can’t fuck you in there like that with him out here. It’s all too much-”

Steven suddenly appeared next to Brandon. “Brandon, where’s your shirt?” he asked loudly. Anyone who hadn't been looking was watching the three of them now. Steven looked from Brandon to Adam, whose hair was disheveled. “_Seriously_?” he said accusingly at both of them.

“I gotta go,” Adam said and he bolted out the front door. He walked three blocks away from the house before he pulled out his phone and when he did, he saw that Brandon had texted him. 

** _i’m sorry i’m too fucked up for you_ **

Adam deleted Brandon’s text, furious that Brandon was putting this on him, acting as if Brandon hadn't put him in this situation. He was going to go home by himself, go to bed, and forget this night ever happened.

***

Brandon thought about Adam non-stop since the party, so when Adam appeared at the bar late the next Tuesday night, Brandon thought he was hallucinating. Brandon's stomach clenched at the sight of him, remembering the look on Adam’s face right before he bolted from the party.

The band playing in the bar that evening was loud so Brandon couldn’t hear what Adam was saying to him. “What?” Brandon yelled and leaned forward over the bar.

“I said, when are you done here? I want to talk to you.”

Brandon looked over at Geno, who shrugged dramatically. Brandon poured a beer and slid it toward Adam. “I’ll be ready in a half hour.”

By the time Brandon cashed out his tips, Adam had finished his beer. Brandon noticed that there were dark circles under his eyes. 

“C’mon, let’s walk,” Adam said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Brandon fell into step beside him. “You look like shit.”

Adam barked out a laugh. “Thanks, I played a double-header today and I’m not exactly sleeping well.”

“I’m sorry,” Brandon said. He put his hand on Adam’s arm and waited to see how Adam would react.

Adam walked a little closer, taking his hands out of his pockets and letting the back of his hand brush against Brandon’s as they threaded through the crowds on Beale Street and turned to walk along the river. “I wanted to apologize for freaking out the other night.”

“I’m sorry that I made you freak out,” Brandon said.

“Maybe it’s not my place to say this but,” Adam took a deep breath, “maybe you shouldn't hook up with guys with him there.”

“It isn’t your place, thank you,” Brandon said, his voice clipped. Brandon didn’t want to admit that whatever delicate balance he had with Steven - their usual push and pull - had been seriously disrupted by Adam. Even more, Brandon didn’t care that he was on the outs with Steven, as long as Adam was here looking at him with his soft, sad eyes.

“I shouldn't have gone into the bedroom with you-”

“Really,” Brandon stopped and placed a hand on Adam’s chest. Brandon had been there that night and he knew how into it Adam had been, despite what he was saying now. He snaked his arms around Adam's neck and pulled him closer. “You're telling me that you didn't want to hook up that night?”

“Bran,” Adam said, his hands sliding up Brandon's back. He looked down at Brandon, his gaze falling to Brandon’s lips. 

“You didn’t want me to ride you-”

“God, I did,” Adam kissed Brandon’s neck.

“Do you still want that?” Brandon whispered, looking up at Adam through his eyelashes when he pulled back. Adam’s eyes were dark with desire and his fingers were clawing down Brandon’s back.

“I’ll get an Uber,” Adam growled into Brandon’s ear.

***

Adam was propped up against the headboard of his bed, Brandon straddled over his lap. Adam’s hands were gripping Brandon’s hips and he was moving Brandon roughly up and down on his cock, watching Brandon’s mouth fall open as he moaned. 

“It’s so fucking good,” Brandon gasped. He was holding onto the headboard behind Adam’s head. 

Adam pulled Brandon to him by the back of his neck and kissed him, moving his lips against Brandon’s open mouth as Brandon ground down onto his cock. He kissed down Brandon’s neck and bit there, softly at first. “I wanna bite you so everyone knows what I do to you,” Adam growled into Brandon’s neck. 

“Do it,” Brandon gasped at the pressure of Adam’s teeth. Adam sucked marks up and down Brandon's neck, feeling Brandon pulse around his cock each time he bit down. 

“Fuck,” Adam said, pulling Brandon’s hips down onto him harder. He wanted to come so badly and the way Brandon was responding was pushing him rapidly to the edge. All he could think about was what Brandon had said at the party. The thought of it made him feel hot all over and he couldn't stop himself from saying, “Tell me I fuck you better than him.”

Brandon laughed wildly, his breath high as he ground on Adam’s cock, rubbing off against Adam's abs. 

“Tell me I fuck you better,” Adam whispered into Brandon’s ear. He put his hand in Brandon's hair and pulled, holding Brandon's head tight. “You want it so bad, look at you.” Brandon whimpered and lost control, thrusting against Adam's stomach as he came, sliding wet against Adam with his own come. 

Adam was tipping toward his orgasm, fucking up into Brandon faster and faster. Brandon’s arms were tight around his neck and his lips were close to his ear, his come dripping down Adam’s stomach between them. Adam was right there, so close that he couldn’t stop if he wanted to, when Brandon finally whispered in his ear: “Nobody fucks me like you, baby.” 

Adam cried out and came, his face tucked into Brandon’s neck. They stayed together, clinging to each other, panting until Adam started to soften. Finally, Adam pulled back to look at Brandon. 

“You’re not going to bolt out of here, are you?” Brandon asked with a smile on his lips.

“I live here,” Adam said and pecked Brandon on the lips. Adam moved Brandon off of his lap and onto the bed next to him and then got up to go to the bathroom.

Brandon rolled over to watch him go. “Can I stay over? It’s late.”

“Sure,” Adam said easily. “I have an extra toothbrush.

***

Brandon woke up the next morning in Adam's bed with Adam pressed against him, fast asleep. He slid out of bed and went to take a shower. When he came out, Adam was awake. 

"Morning," Adam said, giving him a sleepy smile. “Wanna get breakfast after I shower?”

“Sure,” Brandon said, looking around the bedroom for his pants. “Can I borrow a shirt? Mine smells like the bar.”

Adam got out of bed and went to the dresser. He pulled out a Cardinals shirt and tossed it at Brandon as he walked to the bathroom to shower. 

Brandon unfolded it and held it up to his chest, turning it around and seeing the “Lowry 17” on the back. “Are you serious?” he called over the sound of the water.

Adam popped his head out around the shower curtain. “What?” he asked innocently.

“You want me walking around with your name on my back today?” Brandon couldn’t help the little thrill that shot through him at the thought of that. 

“C’mere,” Adam said, reaching an arm out so he could pull Brandon close and kiss him. “I want everyone to know where those hickeys on your neck came from.”

Brandon laughed and turned to look at his neck in the mirror. “You’re possessive.” He could see that his cheeks were flushed and he tried to tamp down the wave of desire for Adam that he could feel welling up inside him. Adam wanted him, wanted to _claim _him, and that turned Brandon on more than almost anything ever had. 

“You should go downstairs before I pull you in here with me,” Adam said, his voice calm but his eyes dark. 

Brandon bit his lip and shut the door behind him.

***

Adam stood in line at Sunrise behind Brandon, tracing his number on Brandon’s back as he looked over the menu on the wall. He knew Brandon wasn't his, but right now Brandon was wearing his number on his back and the evidence of his desire on his neck. That made Adam's stomach melt in the most confusing way. 

“So, are we going to talk about last night?” Adam said in Brandon’s ear. He saw Brandon smile. 

“Definitely not.”

“Okay,” Adam said, kissing the side of Brandon’s neck. “So we’re not going to talk about Steven?”

“Is he here?” Brandon said, leaning his head back against Adam’s chest and looking up at him. “Don’t worry about him.”

“Okay,” Adam said. “Well, anyway, I’m going on the road tomorrow for a bit and then it’ll be the All-Star Break so-”

“Back to St. Louis?” Brandon said quietly.

“Probably,” Adam shrugged. He hadn’t heard anything from the Cardinals front office since he got to Memphis and he was starting to get nervous that they had forgotten about him. Martinez was having a hot streak and doing well in right field in his absence. Adam pushed the thought away because the prospect of languishing in triple-A for the rest of the season was too devastating to consider.

They ordered and sat down to wait for their food to be dropped off at their table. 

“What?” Adam asked, noticing that Brandon looked nervous and was playing with the straw wrapper for his iced coffee. Adam put his hand over Brandon’s. 

“Nothing,” Brandon shrugged. “Just sucks that you’re going to disappear.”

“I can text you,” Adam said, leaning back as their omelettes were dropped off by the waitress.

“You going to torture me with dick pics from St. Louis?” Brandon said, smirking across the table at Adam. 

Adam pointed his fork at Brandon. “You’d be _lucky _to get my dick pics. They’re very well done.”

“That’s because you have so much material to work with,” Brandon said quickly and then slapped a hand over his mouth in surprise. 

Adam dropped his fork and laughed, startling the people at the tables next to them. Brandon was holding his napkin in front of his face and was doubled over in laughter.

“I’m gonna have one framed so I can give it to you before I go,” Adam said, reaching out for Brandon’s hand. “Gonna sign it ‘to Brandon from your _biggest _fan’.”

“I’d love that,” Brandon smiled back at him and squeezed Adam’s hand. Adam felt his heart squeeze along with it, a strange warm feeling spreading through his chest. He ducked his head and ate his omelette.

***

Adam texted Brandon every day of his road trip. (Sometimes he called late at night to tell Brandon that he missed his mouth, and what else could Brandon do but have phone sex with him from the bathroom of the bar?) The text Brandon expected to get from Adam by the end of the week - the one telling him that Adam was leaving Memphis - never came.


	3. Chapter 3

Brandon pulled his car into the driveway behind Adam’s house late the next Tuesday night. The headlights lit up Adam, who was standing shirtless and barefoot in the backyard. He had a bat in one hand and a half-empty bottle of Jim Beam in the other.

Brandon got out of the car and approached Adam slowly. He could see from a few feet away that Adam was quite drunk. 

“What are you doing here?” Adam said, taking a swig from the bottle and putting it down next to him. He went over to a bag of baseballs nearby and picked up three in his hand.

“Geno texted me. He said you came by the bar and that you looked in pretty bad shape.”

“Hey, tell Geno to fuck off,” Adam said. He tossed a ball up in the air and swung at it, making contact and sending it onto the roof of a house down the block. “Do you know what day it is?”

“Uhh, it’s July 9th,” Brandon said. 

“Tonight is the All-Star Game. I was a starter at the All-Star Game last year.” Adam tossed another ball in the air, hitting it hard. Brandon heard glass shattering in the distance. “And now I’m stuck here.”

“Yeah, must be terrible to be stuck here with me,” Brandon said sarcastically.

“Oh my god, this isn’t about _you_!” Adam shouted, throwing another ball up and hitting it. In the distance, a car alarm went off. Adam picked the bottle back up and drank from it before gesturing toward Brandon. “Maybe consider that my baseball career isn’t about your need to be the center of attention.”

Brandon reeled back. “I don’t need to be the center of attention.”

Adam took another drink and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His words were increasingly slurred. “I may have only known you for a month, but I was at party where your _ boyfriend _was there and yet you couldn't wait to fuck me in the next room."

"It's so easy for you to put that on me but when you're getting off on it, suddenly you're innocent,” Brandon said, pointing at Adam. 

"I didn't ask for this!” Adam yelled back. “I’m not even supposed to be here! My career is in the fucking toilet and I’m here fucking around with a guy who only wants me so I can fight over him with his boyfriend."

Brandon looked at the ground. “That’s not what I- I haven’t talked to him since the party. I didn't- I chose you,” Brandon said, his voice fading out. He was looking anywhere but at Adam.

“Oh,” Adam said. He looked a little green all of a sudden and he was swaying on his feet. “Bran, I don’t feel so good.”

“Okay babe, let’s get you inside,” Brandon said. He put his arm around Adam’s waist, taking his weight, and dragged him toward the house. Once they were inside, Adam lurched up the stairs and stumbled into the bedroom, where he collapsed on his stomach on the bed. 

“I’m just going to rest my eyes for a minute,” Adam slurred. 

Brandon climbed onto the bed next to him. He brushed Adam’s hair back off his forehead. “Okay, you rest.”

“I’m sorry Bran, I shouldn’t have said-.” Adam picked his head up off of the pillow and tried to focus his eyes on Brandon. “Will you stay?”

“Of course,” Brandon said, kissing Adam’s cheek and resting his head on Adam’s shoulder. 

***

Adam came down into the kitchen the next morning, his head pounding. Brandon was pulling a tray of muffins out of the oven. When he turned and saw Adam, he smiled, bright and happy. “You’re alive.”

“You made muffins?” Adam asked. “And coffee, thank god.” He poured himself a cup and sank into a chair at the table. 

“One of my hidden talents is baking,” Brandon said. He put a muffin on a plate in front of Adam. “They’re blueberry lemon streusel.”

“I have the ingredients for that?” Adam marveled and took a big bite. 

“No, I went to the store this morning. All you had here was mustard.” Brandon sat down next to Adam. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now,” Adam said. He took a sip of coffee. “Do you want to go for a run along the river this afternoon?”

Brandon gave Adam a soft smile. “Yeah, I’ll get my running stuff and come back.” Brandon started to get up.

“Hold on,” Adam said, grabbing Brandon’s arm and pulling him down onto his lap. He leaned in to Brandon, nuzzling his nose against the side of Brandon’s neck, his hands warm on Brandon’s back. “Can we officially make up from last night?”

“Why, do you want to have makeup sex?” Brandon pulled back to look at Adam. 

“_No_, because I’m sorry I called you an attention whore." Adam leaned his forehead against Brandon’s and looked into his eyes. "I was upset and I didn't mean to take cheap shots at you."

“And I’m sorry for making it all about me. I know this has been really hard for you.”

Adam tucked his head into the space between Brandon's neck and shoulder and held him close. He took a deep breath. "You've made it a lot better," he said quietly. 

"Yeah?" Brandon asked, pleased. 

"Yeah," Adam sighed, moving his hands from Brandon's back down to cup his ass. Brandon squirmed a little at Adam's breath warm on his neck and his hands, wandering to cup his cock through his shorts.

"Adam, you're going to-"

"What?" Adam asked, slipping his hand under the waistband of Brandon's shorts. "You're almost hard. Let me get you there, baby." 

Adam kissed him slowly, stroking his cock with just enough pressure to make him fully hard. Brandon stood up to take off his shorts and then climbed back onto Adam's lap, holding on to Adam's shoulders as Adam worked his hand. The harder he got, the more desperate he was to move his hips up into Adam's hand.

"Fuck," Brandon said wetly into Adam's mouth between kisses. "Faster, c'mon."

Adam shook his head and brought his other hand up to Brandon's throat. "Be good," he said, his voice low, just squeezing his hand. 

"Or what," Brandon gasped. The pressure from Adam’s big hand on his neck made Brandon feel wild, reckless. He wanted more.

Adam kept stroking him, slow and firm, and squeezed a touch harder on Brandon's throat at the same time. "God, I knew you'd like this. Dirty boy."

Brandon tried to move against Adam but Adam had him held firmly in place. "I wanna come, please," he whined. 

Adam released his hold on Brandon's throat and put his hand into his hair so he could pull Brandon's head back, taking Brandon’s breath away. "What else do you want?" He slowed his hand down on Brandon's cock, drawing another whine out of him.

"Adam," Brandon gasped. Adam had the softest mouth and kindest eyes, but when he was like this, challenging Brandon to tell him all the things that turned him on, his expression turned hard and so, so dark. Adam’s hand wasn’t even on his neck but Brandon could barely breathe with how overwhelmed he was. 

"Do you want me to slap you?" Adam said, low in Brandon's ear. Brandon was shocked to hear the excited moan that escaped from his lips at that suggestion. He had thought about that so many times - the sharp sting on his face while he was getting fucked senseless - but had never admitted it to anyone. "You want me to make you cry while I fuck you?" 

"Fuck, fuck," Brandon squeezed his eyes shut, feeling desire pool dark and hot in his stomach. He was moving against Adam's hand, trying to get more friction, anything so he could come, but Adam was holding him right at the edge and not letting him go over.

"Yeah," Adam said, moving his hand back to Brandon's throat. "I know just what you need baby, give it to me, c'mon." He squeezed Brandon's throat tighter and sped up his hand on Brandon's cock, keeping the pressure tight, until Brandon cried out, coming so hard that there were tears at the corners of his eyes.

Brandon collapsed against Adam's chest and tried to regain his breath, head still spinning from his orgasm. "You…," he started but he wasn't able to collect his thoughts enough to finish the sentence.

Adam smoothed down his hair and kissed his forehead. "That wasn’t too much?"

Brandon looked up at him and shook his head. He put his arms around Adam’s neck and laid his head on Adam’s chest, letting Adam hold him close for a long moment. 

“How are you- I mean, you’re fucking perfect for me,” Adam said quietly into his hair.

Brandon felt like the air had been punched out of him. The past few weeks of being together, sure that things would end at any moment, had been the best time Brandon could remember. What would happen if Brandon cracked his heart open a little and let himself hope, just for a moment, that Adam could stay? Looking at Adam’s face, his smile warm and his eyes happy, Brandon thought that maybe risking his heart could be worth it. 

***

They ran along the river that afternoon, stripped of their shirts under the bright summer sun. For July in Memphis, the humidity was low and they were able to stretch their run out to nearly 8 miles before they stopped to buy Gatorades. 

Adam stretched out his hamstring on the railing looking over the river as he drank. Brandon stretched next to him, and Adam tried not to focus on the way the sweat on Brandon’s shoulders glistened in the afternoon sunlight or the taut lines of his abs. He took Brandon’s hand as they walked home and leaned close to kiss him every time stood on the corner to wait for the light to change. 

After they cleaned themselves up, they ordered food to eat while they watched a movie on Adam’s couch. Brandon fell asleep partway through the movie, his head in Adam’s lap. Adam played with his hair gently and watched him sleep long after the movie ended and the Netflix menu came back on the television.

At 6pm, he gently shook Brandon awake. “Hey,” he whispered as Brandon fluttered his eyes open. “You have to get ready to leave for work.” 

Brandon frowned and nuzzled his face into Adam’s thigh. “Nope, I’m sleeping,” he said, his voice muffled.

“I know,” Adam hesitated but eventually decided to continue. “but you should come back after. Bring some stuff so you can stay.” 

“Stay? Like, _ stay _stay?” Brandon asked, turning over onto his back and looking up at Adam. 

“Yeah,” Adam smiled. “I mean, I have a roadie starting Monday but until then?” 

Brandon sat up onto his knees on the couch next to Adam and leaned into his shoulder. “So you’re saying I shouldn’t pull up tonight in a moving van filled with all of my earthly possessions?”

“Hey, if you don’t want to spend the weekend, forget it!” Adam said, leaning away. He knew Brandon was joking, but a part of him was worried that he was asking for too much. He wanted to spend more time with Brandon and he couldn’t stop fantasizing about days like today - waking up together, breakfast and sex, naps and easy summer days. He hoped that Brandon wanted that too, even though that wasn’t how this thing had started and even though neither of them knew where this thing ended. 

“C’mere, silly,” Brandon pulled him to him again. “Don’t look so worried. I want to see you so much you get sick of me.” 

***

“You should have started sleeping with a baseball player sooner,” Chris said as they took their seats in the first row behind home plate at AutoZone Park. 

“Right?” Brandon said. He looked around at the players warming up on the field for Adam but didn’t see him. 

“When he gets called back up, can you get me seats like this for a Cards game?”

Brandon glared at Chris and then turned away to look at the field again.

“What?” Chris asked. “Oh, are we not going to talk about the fact that he’s not here permanently?” 

“No, we are not going to talk about that.” Brandon sipped his beer and fidgeted with his phone. 

“You two must have talked about that at least. I know you’re not seeing Steven so are you finally-

“We are _ not _talking about that,” Brandon said forcefully. After a moment, he said, “I will say that it’s ironic that you’ve been on my case about Steven for months but now that I’m not seeing him anymore you’ve conveniently found something else to bug me about.”

“What are big brothers for?” Chris asked. “I feel like I haven’t seen you much, except when the Redbirds are on the road.”

“I’ve been busy with work,” Brandon said evasively.

“Have you been staying at Adam’s the last couple of weeks? Because I’ve been by your house when the team is in town and your car is never there.”

“Chris, give me a break,” Brandon groaned. “And stop checking up on me.”

“I’m only mentioning it,” Chris said over Brandon’s protests, “because you barely ever stayed over at Steven’s place and you definitely never stayed over at a hook-up’s place-”

“Oh look, the national anthem. Just in time,” Brandon said loudly, standing up and taking off his hat. Chris just shook his head and stood up next to him.

They cheered heartily for Adam during introductions. Chris let out a loud wolf whistle and Adam turned to smile at them as he took the field. 

At the bottom of the inning, when it was his turn up at bat, Adam turned while fixing his batting gloves and winked at Brandon. Brandon felt his cheeks flush and he gave Adam a little wave back.

“Oh my god, you two are so gross,” Chris groaned. 

Brandon held his breath as Adam took the first two pitches for strikes. The third pitch was a high fastball and Adam swung at it with all of his might, sending it soaring into left field. The left fielder went back, back, and the ball went over the wall.

The crowd roared as Adam rounded the bases. Adam was greeted by a flurry of high-fives from his teammates at the steps of the dugout. He turned before going down the steps and caught Brandon’s eye, pointing at him and mouthing _ for you babe_.

“Christ,” Chris groaned again. He turned to Brandon, who was smiling so big that his face hurt. “You are so fucked."

***

After the game that night - actually, after almost every Redbirds home game or after Brandon’s shift at work for the next few weeks - Adam and Brandon would go out, trying classic barbecue restaurants and new bars all over town. Most nights, after they’d ordered drinks, Adam would touch Brandon’s leg under the table and give him a look that Brandon knew meant _ wanna get out of here? _ Each time, Brandon would change their food order to take-out and let Adam take him home. They’d spent the rest of the night in Adam’s bed with Brandon tied to the headboard or pinned underneath Adam. 

Later, they’d eat dinner curled up together on the couch. “Food always tastes better after I’ve fucked you into the mattress,” Adam said, licking barbecue sauce off of his fingers. Brandon smiled at him, his face still flushed, and wondered how many more perfect nights like this they’d get. 

***

Adam and the Redbirds were on the west coast for a long stretch in early August. Adam showed up at Brandon’s door at 4am on a Tuesday night after the road trip, looking bleary eyed and exhausted.

“What time is it?” Brandon asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and holding the door open to let Adam in. 

“It’s late. Or early. I don’t know which. My internal clock is still in Fresno.” Adam dropped his bags in the entryway and enveloped Brandon in a bear hug. 

“Okay, come on.” Brandon took Adam’s hand and led him to the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”

Adam leaned against the fridge and closed his eyes.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep here. At least get into bed first.”

Adam whined unhappily and stood up, glancing at the fridge and then doing a double take. He touched the Redbirds schedule that was affixed to the fridge door with a magnet and looked at Brandon pointedly.

“What?” Brandon asked.

“My schedule. It’s on your fridge.”

“Yeah, so?” Brandon shrugged. He turned to go into the bedroom and Adam followed him.

“So, you’re keeping track of where I am.”

“Well, one night it’s Sacramento and the next night it’s Iowa City. I can’t keep track on my own.”

Adam pulled Brandon close to him and rubbed their noses together. “You missed me.”

Brandon scoffed and pretended to push Adam away, but he was smiling. “You texted me every five minutes when you were away. You missed _ me_.”

“You always texted me back!” Adam exclaimed. He tipped them over onto the bed together so they were lying on their sides facing each other. “Every night before bed, you’d say good night.”

“You were away so long and I was lonely,” Brandon said, turning away from Adam and pulling Adam's arms around him.

Adam kissed Brandon's neck. "Is that why you kept Skyping me while you jerked off?" 

“You know I like an audience,” Brandon laughed. He guided Adam's hand into his boxers so Adam could take hold of his cock.

"I thought you were tired," Adam whispered, sucking along the side of Brandon’s neck under his ear. 

“I am,” Brandon said in response and then moaned louder when Adam increased the pressure of his hand around his cock. 

“Tomorrow morning, I'm going to put you on your hands and knees and fuck you like you like," Adam said, biting Brandon’s shoulder and enjoying the hitch in his breath when he did. 

“Adam,” Brandon whined. 

“I'm going to put those restraints on your wrists so you can't touch yourself,” Adam growled. He slid Brandon’s boxers down his hips and took hold of him again, the pressure tight and fast. "You're going to look so pretty spread open on my cock."

“God,” Brandon let his head fall back as he pushed up into Adam’s hand. 

“Maybe I'll take pictures of it so I can look at them when I'm away," Adam said, catching Brandon’s lips in a kiss.

“Faster,” Brandon hissed. He reached out and gripped Adam’s hip tight, digging in his fingers. They clung together in the dark, Adam whispering in Brandon’s ear until Brandon came, crying out Adam’s name. Brandon got up to clean up and then came back to bed, intent on going down on Adam but Adam was already fast asleep. Brandon tucked himself around Adam and pulled the blanket up over them both. He kissed Adam’s lips softly and put his head on Adam’s shoulder, falling asleep immediately. 

***

“We don’t have to do this,” Adam said again as they got out of the car in front of Blake’s house. “I mean, I do but you don’t have to.”

Brandon pushed his sunglasses up onto his head and put his hands on his hips. “Do you not want me here?” 

“Stop,” Adam came over and put his arm around Brandon, leading him up the front walk. “You know I do. Can’t keep away from you,” Adam said, nuzzling his nose into the top of Brandon’s head.

“Okay,” Brandon said, looping his arm around Adam’s waist. “I’m not interrupting your team bonding?”

“No, I’m going to see these guys all day, every day next week when we’re on the road again,” Adam said, rolling his eyes. “I only have two more days before we leave for New Orleans and I want to bond with you.” He squeezed Brandon closer as he rang the doorbell.

Blake opened the door and greeted them, showing them into the house where most of the team and their families were gathered. “Everybody!” he shouted, ushering Adam and Brandon into the center of the room. “For those that don’t know, this is Adam Lowry who’s been with us for a time from St. Louis. And this is - I’m sorry, I don’t know your boyfriend’s name?”

“I’m Brandon,” Brandon volunteered, trying not to look at Adam and hoping that he wasn’t focusing on the label Blake had used. 

A few of the players’ wives and girlfriends surrounded Brandon to greet him and Adam was swept off into the kitchen to get a beer with a group of players. 

_ You okay? _Adam mouthed over everyone’s heads as he moved away.

Brandon nodded and smiled at him and then focused on trying to remember everyone’s names. He ended up drifting into the kitchen and getting cornered by Mark, the first baseman, who wanted to pick his brain about the best places in town to hear live music. “I heard from Adam that you guys have been out a lot lately. Every day, he comes to practice to tell us about a new place he’s found, like the rest of us haven’t lived in Memphis for a while,” Mark laughed. 

Brandon smiled back. “At least he stopped complaining about Memphis, I guess?”

“Thanks to you,” Mark raised his beer in a salute and took a sip. “Since the All-Star break, he’s been a different player.”  
  
“Really?” Brandon said, trying not to blush.

“Yeah, doesn’t complain, actually wants to talk to the guys in the locker room,” Mark shrugged. “Hitting like crazy again. You’re good for him.”

Brandon looked down and smiled. “I’m glad.” He looked up and caught Adam’s eye where he was talking with Blake, their heads bent together.

_ You okay? _ Adam mouthed and Brandon nodded, winking at him. 

***

“I know you want to get back to your boy over there,” Blake said quietly when he saw the look between Adam and Brandon, “but I wanted to tell you that I’m really proud of the effort you’ve put in lately.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Adam said, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. “I get that I fucked up and getting sent down was what I needed to refocus.”

“And it’s paid off. You’re going back up soon,” Blake said, clasping Adam’s shoulder fondly.

“What?” Adam said quickly.

“Major league teams are expanding their rosters on September 1st. The Redbirds GM told me that he’s gotten calls about you and that you’ll be on your way back to St. Louis by the end of August.”

“Oh,” Adam looked down at the beer bottle in his hands. “Wow, end of August.”

“You should be happy, man!” Blake shook his shoulder. “Cards are probably going to the playoffs. This is great news for you!”

Adam lifted his head and plastered a smile across his face. “It is great news, thanks Blake.” He looked at Brandon across the kitchen. He looked so happy, his eyes bright and his shoulders relaxed. Adam wanted to go over to where he was talking to Mark and sweep Brandon up in his arms and carry him out of here, back to his bed. He wanted to bury his face in Brandon’s neck and hide from the real world, from September 1st, just over a week away. 

Instead, he went over to stand close next to Brandon and held his hand. He didn’t leave Brandon’s side for the rest of the party, even when Brandon whispered _ clingy _ into his ear. 

“Wanna get out of here?” Adam asked him an hour later. They had just been subjected to a long rambling story by Blake about the Redbirds making the AAA playoffs on the last day of the season the year before. 

Brandon bumped him with his hip. “Where do you want to go?”

“My house,” Adam said quietly, kissing Brandon’s neck below his ear. “Want you to fuck me.”

Brandon whipped his head around to look at Adam in surprise. “What?”

“C’mon,” Adam pulled him by the hand. “We’re getting out of here. See y’all tomorrow!” he yelled to the team. 

“Adam,” Brandon stumbled after him on the way to the car. “We need to talk about this.”

Adam pushed him up against the car and kissed him, dirty and slow. “No we don’t, unless you don’t know how to do it?”

Brandon rolled his eyes and huffed out a laugh. “I know _ how_,” he said.

“Then come home with me,” Adam kissed him again and got in the car. 

***

That night - the last time that summer, even though they didn’t know it then - Brandon fucked Adam just like he wanted. Brandon joked around at first, teasing Adam about their height difference and how long it would take to loosen Adam up enough to take him, but as soon as he sank into Adam, no one was laughing anymore. Adam wanted it slow, so slow that Brandon thought he’d go out of his mind before Adam got there, but Adam held tight onto his hips and guided him in and out. Adam’s eyes were dark and locked on Brandon’s face, so intense that Brandon couldn’t look away. All he could do was hold Adam’s hands, bringing them up to his mouth to kiss his fingers, turning his hands over to kiss his palms. He leaned down to kiss Adam’s lips and drop his head onto Adam’s shoulder when Adam let him move faster. He was getting closer with every long pull out of Adam and every delicious slide in, with every moan falling from Adam’s lips, soft and broken. He reached up to cup Adam’s face in his hand and found Adam’s cheeks wet with tears and then Brandon came, holding Adam against him as Adam came between them, his body convulsing with his orgasm. 

He held Adam after, stroking his hands up and down Adam’s back and letting him cry it out. Brandon knew that Adam held all of his worry and tension in a tight ball in his chest. Letting Brandon fuck him had dislodged something, broken him apart and spilled his emotions out with his release. Brandon felt special that Adam was letting him see him vulnerable like this. When Adam was quiet, Brandon kissed his lips, his eyelids, his cheeks, softly touching him everywhere until he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

***

Adam called Brandon mid-afternoon the next week when he was on the road with the Redbirds.

“Hi babe! Ready for your game tonight?” Brandon answered. He was bustling around his house getting ready to head into work for an early shift.

“I need to talk to you,” Adam said, his voice serious.

“No,” Brandon said. He sank down onto his couch, a heavy weight dropping in his stomach. “No, this is not happening.”

“Bran,” Adam said quietly, “I have to go back tonight. The Cards-they’re expanding the roster for September and they want me to start in right again. They need hitting and-”

“Did you know about this?” Brandon interrupted. "Last week, after the party. Did you know?"

“I knew it could happen,” Adam said. “I wasn’t sure but-”

“Cool, that’s great,” Brandon said, his voice flat. “Well, good luck, have a nice life.” Brandon ended the call quickly. He texted Geno to call out of work sick and laid back on the couch, staring at the ceiling while he decided what to do next.

***

Adam got back to Memphis that evening and headed straight to his house to pack up what he could fit into his car. On his way out of town, he stopped at Brandon’s house, carrying a bag of things Brandon had left at his house to the front door. He rang the doorbell, listening for Brandon inside. He was just about to leave the bag on the porch when Brandon opened the door.

Brandon was shirtless and his hair was mussed, his eyes a little unfocused. “What?” he said, moving away from the door.

“I...are you okay?” Adam asked, following him inside. The living room was a mess, the coffee table littered with empty beer bottles and smeared with coke.

“I’m fine,” Brandon said, picking up a bottle and drinking the dregs of beer left in the bottom. “What do you want.”

“I was just dropping off some of your stuff that you left at my-”

“Brandon!” a voice called from the bedroom. A tall man with dirty blond hair peeked his head into the living room. “Are you coming back?”

Brandon smiled at the man easily, his eyes hooded. “Be there in a sec.”

“Ok, because Nicky and I are going to start without you,” the man smirked. He spotted Adam. “Hey, I’m Alex.” 

Adam stared at him blankly before turning to glare at Brandon. “Of course, he’s tall. We all know what you like.”

Brandon just stared back and crossed his arms. 

“Couldn’t even wait a day,” Adam waved his arm toward where Alex had disappeared back into the bedroom. “That’s fucking classy,” Adam said as he turned to leave the house.

Brandon followed him, shouting from the doorway, “I’m sorry I’m too fucked up for you!” 

“Oh, get over yourself!” Adam turned on his heel in the middle of the lawn to shout back at him. “You love it!”

“What are you talking about?”

“You do whatever you want without regard for anyone else and when things go wrong, it’s not your fault because you’re just a fuck up,” Adam yelled, voice dripping with sarcasm. “You’re not to blame for how we got into this-”

“How we got into this?” Brandon interrupted, incredulous. “You showed up here and played _ boyfriends _with me for two months-”

“-and you _ certainly _ don’t have to acknowledge your feelings-”

“_-_and then you who woke up this morning and decided to check out of this relationship because it was convenient,” Brandon said, glaring at Adam.

“Nothing about this has been convenient for me, Brandon!” Adam shouted. “And some ‘relationship’ this was. I’m not even out of town and you’re already fucking two guys in there.” Adam turned toward his car in disgust.

“What do you care!” Brandon shouted as Adam got in his car. “You treated me like I was nothing so guess what? You’re nothing to me!”

Adam slammed his door shut and started the car. Before he drove away, he rolled down the window and looked at Brandon for a long moment. “Have a nice life, Brandon.”


	4. Chapter 4

Adam’s St. Louis apartment was stale and dark when he arrived. He threw the windows open and got into bed, leaving unpacking for another time when he was less emotionally drained. He didn’t know when that would be. He couldn’t see past his current heartache to a time when he’d feel happy again.

The Cardinals clinched a playoff spot at the end of September, winning the NL Central in a rout of the Cubs on a sunny Sunday afternoon. After the game, in the clubhouse covered in plastic and doused in champagne, Adam stood among his jubilant teammates and wondered what Brandon was doing. 

At home that night, he dumped his alcohol-soaked clothes in the bathtub and climbed into bed naked. He scrolled through his phone, reading and rereading months worth of texts from Brandon. He looked at the photos he had of them - selfies from the day they biked over the bridge from Memphis to Arkansas, pictures of them together at Blake’s party, the dirty pictures that Adam had taken of them in bed together. Adam couldn’t for the life of him remember why he left Memphis. 

But then he remembered the last day, Brandon already fucking other people and yelling at Adam that he was nothing to him. A hole opened up in Adam’s chest that he didn’t think he could ever fill. 

He called Brandon a few nights later. The phone rang and rang. Brandon picked up just as Adam was about to give up. He didn’t say anything but Adam could hear him breathing on the other end of the call. 

“Bran? Are you there?”

“Yeah,” Brandon said, his voice quiet.

“How are you? I haven’t talked to you since...it’s been over a month and-”

“What do you want?” Brandon cut him off.

“I was thinking about you,” Adam said. “I was worried. Chris called-”

“That asshole-”

“-and he said that you’ve been calling out of work a lot. Partying too much. Are you okay?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m fine.” Brandon sounded impatient, like he was going to hang up any minute.

“Please don’t go, I…” Adam trailed off. “I just wanted to hear your voice for a minute. I don’t know if you saw, but we’re in the playoffs?”

“So did you call to brag about how great you’re doing or what?”

“No,” Adam sighed, “I called because I miss you and thought maybe you could come up to St. Louis for the postseason.”

“What? Why would I do that?”

“So...so we can be together? I want you to be here with me.”

Brandon laughed bitterly. “Why? So I can follow you around and be your fan club? It's always been about you, Adam. Try thinking of someone else for one fucking second of your life.”

Adam balled up his hand in a fist and pressed it against his eye. “But,” Adam stuttered, trying and failing not to cry, “but I love you Bran, come on.”

“Come on? Do you think I’m going to drop my whole life just because some asshole who thinks he's too good for me says I love you?”

“I don’t think that,” Adam protested. 

“Listen, I'm glad you enjoyed your little stint slumming it in Memphis with me for the summer but I'm not waiting around for you. Go fuck yourself.”

Adam shook his head, unable to process how badly this conversation was going. “It fucking broke me to leave you, did you know that Brandon?” he said quietly. “I wanted to stay in Memphis with you more than anything else I’ve ever wanted.”

Brandon sighed impatiently on the other end of the line but Adam kept going. 

“Some nights recently, I’ve been standing in right field at Busch Stadium in front of 40,000 people and I’ve be ready to walk off the field to come back to you. Do you realize how crazy that is? I thought about giving up my whole life, my career, just to be with you. And you didn’t give a damn about me. That’s what’s fucked up about this.”

“If you think that I didn’t give a damn about you...I fell in love with you so fast. Did _you_ know that?” Brandon sobbed. “The fucked up thing about this is that you spent all summer, so obsessed with me being yours. Why was that so important to you if you were just going to drop me the second the Cards came calling? Why did you have to fuck with me like that?”

“Bran,” Adam cried into the phone. “Please-”

“No, forget it. It’s done. We’re done.” And Brandon ended the call.

***

October in Memphis was gray. The days were getting shorter and it rained often, cloudy days dominating the forecast and making 65 degrees feel a lot colder than it should. 

Brandon had been in a fog since Adam left at the end of August and the fog showed no signs of lifting. He had spent most nights in September partying with bar patrons long after closing or getting high with guys he picked up on Grindr, more often than not watching the sun come up in his backyard before stumbling inside to sleep it off and calling out of work the next day. No matter how many people he had around him or how loud the music was, Brandon always felt empty inside. 

October rolled around and Brandon stopped going out. He went to work, didn’t talk to anyone, and went home again. He avoided Chris’s phone calls and stayed inside. 

He didn’t watch baseball, but there were so many Cardinals fans in town that he couldn’t avoid noticing when they beat the Braves in five games to win the division. When the Cards got swept by the Nationals (the _Nationals_), Brandon was secretly delighted. Maybe the Cards would disband and he’d never have to hear about baseball players ever again.

***

Then Adam showed up. He was sitting on Brandon’s doorstep when Brandon got home from work on a Wednesday night in late October. Adam had a duffel bag next to him and he was scrolling on his phone, only noticing that Brandon was there when Brandon was standing in front of him on the front walk.

“Hi,” Adam said. He looked thinner than Brandon remembered, but it had been a couple of months. Brandon hoped they had been miserable for him too.

“Hi,” Brandon said, not moving.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m doing here?” Adam stood up and stepped close to Brandon. 

Brandon shook his head. “I’m sure it doesn’t matter,” he mumbled. He was so embarrassed that Adam’s mere presence had him tearing up and staring down at his feet wasn’t helping.

“It does, it’s the most important thing,” Adam said quietly, tentatively putting his arms around Brandon, who folded his arms over his chest. 

“How can that be,” Brandon said, chancing a look up at Adam. Adam looked so certain, so resolved, his eyes clear and strong. Brandon couldn’t help but lean a little bit into him.

Adam bent his head down to touch his forehead against Brandon’s. “I moved here.”

“What? What are you talking about?” 

“I rented a house in town and moved in this week. I live here. In Memphis.”

Brandon shook his head and put his hand on Adam’s chest to push him away. “Why...I don’t understand.”

“To be with you. To stay with you,” he whispered, kissing Brandon gently on the lips.

Brandon felt a laugh burble out of him, high and breathy. “This is crazy! You still play in St. Louis.”

“I know. But the regular season is months away and maybe by then you’ll want to come with me. But until then,” Adam smiled, “my home is in Memphis. With you.”

Brandon let all of the air out of his lungs, exhaling all the misery and loneliness of the past several weeks. He had so many questions, so many things to consider. He was so angry, so hurt, but all of that was crumbling. With Adam standing here, so certain that he wanted to live his life with Brandon, everything looked different. If Brandon opened up his heart, he could almost imagine that Adam had never left. “Do you want to come inside?”

Adam’s face broke out into a huge grin. “I’d love to.”

“I’m still mad at you for leaving,” Brandon said, taking Adam’s hand and leading him inside to the bedroom. “You were horrible.”

“I’m also mad at myself for leaving,” Adam said, climbing onto the bed next to Brandon. “And you were horrible too, you know.”

Brandon buried his head in Adam’s chest, taking deep breaths. “Do you think you can forgive me?” he said quietly. 

Adam put his hands on the sides of Brandon’s face and looked into his eyes. “I can forgive you if you can forgive me.” He kissed Brandon slowly, his breath shaking as their kiss deepened and they tightened their arms around each other. He kept his eyes on Brandon as they undressed and came back together, their touch familiar and new at the same time. Adam was gentle with Brandon, knowing there’d be plenty of wild nights in the future. But for now, all he wanted was to hold Brandon against him as they fucked, careful and slow. 

They’d talk later, going over all the details of what they wanted in the future, where they’d go together. In years to come, maybe Adam would spend his off seasons training with the guys from the Redbirds in Memphis and the baseball season on the road, coming back to Memphis on off-days and long weekends to reunite with Brandon. Maybe Brandon would find that he liked St. Louis and would want to move there permanently. Maybe Adam would get contract offers from teams other than the Cardinals and they’d have to decide whether to move to Oakland or Houston, together. 

But until then, they laid together in Brandon’s bed, kissing the bad memories away and getting back to that place where they first discovered each other. When they woke up in the morning, they’d start over.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments welcome :)


End file.
